GAY
FILM REVIEWS BY MICHAEL D. KLEMM
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GAY
FILM REVIEWS BY MICHAEL D. KLEMM
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Theft Waterbearer Films, Director/Screenplay: Starring: Unrated, 95 minutes |
Down
On Main Street
Writer/director Paul Bright (Aaron...Albeit A Sex Hero) likes to make offbeat comedies about ordinary gay men living in small towns. Theft (2007) is an amusing movie that pits the denizens of a rural Texas leather bar against a sanctimonious church lady bent on shutting them down. |
 Guy
(Matthew Charles Burnett) finds himself the reluctant
owner of The Golden Door when its owner and founder, Daddy Jack, unexpectedly
succumbs to a heart attack during a drag show benefit. Jack was beloved
by all. His surviving partner, George (David La Duca), performs at the bar
nightly as the fabulous, and tempermental, Lady Liberty. "Leathermen are
a tiny minority within a minority," he tells Guy, "And we're counting on
you [to keep the bar open]." |
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 A
gay art student named Alex (Patrick Henderson) drifts into town on the train
and sets chaos in motion. He befriends Guy, who initially rebuffs the flirtatious
stranger. Alex alters a patriotic mural in the town square and then really
gets Sister Susannah into full crusade mode when he paints the outside of
The Golden Door. "I don't think it's supposed to look like that," say two
church ladies as they gaze at a mural depicting the planting of the American
flag at Iwo Jima - the soldiers are shirtless and one wears only a jockstrap.
Of course you realize this means war. Sister Susannah and her church ladies
show up outside the bar and they may as well be bearing torches and rakes.
Things heat up even more when Alex meets the good Sister and says, "Hello
Mother." |
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 This
is a cute movie. Yes its budget is almost non-existant but who cares? The
satire is usually obvious too but the film's target is such a cliche already
that a Kids In The Hall sketch is the route to go. Theft
(which was originally named Theft Of The Drag Queen's
Wig until the director was told that the title would kill any potential
straight rental market) has many charms and a quirky sense of humor. I liked
that the romance between Guy and Alex followed none of the usual
formulas. I liked it when Sister Susannah began to channel Carrie's mother.
The extreme actions she takes will cause her to lose her wig and her fate
is sealed when she steals one of Lady Liberty's. |
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 It
was nice, for a change, to see leathermen not played for laughs
in a queer film. They look like an ordinary bunch of guys and not Tom of
Finland drawings; they just happen to be wearing leather. (And watching
drag; we don't usually see that on the screen.) My favorite shot
of the movie is a pan across the backs of the funeral mourners; some are
wearing chaps over jeans and all of them have different colored hankies
hanging out of their back pockets. |
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 Matthew
Charles Burnett, who also stars in Bright's next film Aaron...Albeit
A Sex Hero, is appealing here too as the hero who isn't in control.
Maybe Alex should have been a bit more James Dean-ish, but Henderson projects
the proper charisma. La Duca doesn't overplay (much) the flamboyant Lady
Liberty and is fun when she is on stage (which is often). The two backup
dancers provide some good comic relief, and the one on her left is major
league eye candy. |
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More on Paul Bright
in: Matthew Charles
Burnett also appears in: David Laduca also
appears in: |
That
the small town of Liberty Heights has a gay bar at all is actually somewhat
miraculous. That isn't, however, how Sister Susannah (Cynthia Schiebel)
feels about it. We first meet this Rev. Fred Phelps in drag when she takes
a page out of the Westboro Baptist Church Handbook and shows up
at Jack's funeral with protesters. They hold crosses, American flags and
signs that read "Homos Damned To Hell" and "Jesus Died So You Can Be Straight."
Impeccably dressed with a big wig, Sister Susannah is a parody of every
cable television evangelist who ever bilked senior citizens of their pensions
in the name of the Lord. She's a bit over the top at times, but she's
supposed to be ridiculous and we're not looking for subtetly in this film.
Some
moments are flat, Jack's heart attack on the stage is easily the film's
clumsiest scene. Sister Susannah's sermons sometimes go on for too long.
And that organ music - although I'm sure that was supposed
to sound annoying. No matter. What Theft
lacks in studio polish is compensated by its abundant and
natural charm. A bit raw, but what the hell. Look at some of the flashiest
queer films and you'll find